Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Spiderman

This is something I wrote long ago after watching spiderman 3. I liked what I wrote and so, I am putting it here so I can read it whenever I want.

Who ever said spiderman 3 is not good has no idea of what entertainment is all about. When was the last time you laughed every time the hero cried? That kind of acting takes special skills and Toby is one of the special kind second only to Vijayakanth.

The amazing direction and wonderful acting makes this movie a treat to all. To say the story was dull is ridiculous. To start with you have a cute smart alien bug that hitches a ride on a meteorite, then you have the I-did-it-for-my-kid guy who by the way didn’t kill uncle Ben and then did and then didn’t (confused uh? So am I). Then you have the rival photographer who is waiting to be infected by the bug. And the best of all, the friend turned, foe turned, friend turned, foe turned, friend (let me take breather) Osbourn.

Which heroine confesses she is a pathetic actor? Mary Jane does. Which hero begs his arch rival to help him (as casually as asking for a lift)? Spidy does. And which director shamelessly assembles a crowd to weep and cheer for Spidy complete with the American flag? Spidy’s director does. Which friend waits patiently for his friend to die (forget the tamil ones)? Spidy does…

I am sure the bug will win the Oscar this year. It was the best performance by an alien bug so far.

PS: I have no intention of watching the another sequel of spidey, if the bug doesn’t act in it.

Mission accomplished!

It was one of the easier missions. Everything went as planned and contrary to my usual style, I finished my job and walked out with a few minutes to spare. All I had to do was leasurely sit in the pick up and get to the drop point roughly four kilometers away; after that I am as good as home and dry. I was dreaming of steaming hot sambar rice as I walked down the stairs (spies dont take lifts). But as I stepped out of the doors of the massive facade which hid the secret research lab, I was stunned. All dreams of sambar rice vanished in a wiff of the obnoxious fumes as I groaned in disappointment.

Something had gone wrong and now I have to wade through an army of enemy artillery, walk past thousands of soldiers and maybe hitch a ride on an enemy tanker to get to my drop point. My pick-up hasn't turned up and I have just the great sage yavanshi to help me get to the drop point on time.

I summoned all my courage and plunged into the sea of soldiers. if they were surprised to see a woman wading through them, they did not show it. Right in front of me was a bus full of unruly soldiers. It was a sight that could freeze any woman in fear but not me. I put on my best puppy dog face and asked for a lift. I few wide smiles later, I was sitting in a corner of the bus and trying my best to become invisible. The traffic was heavy and soldiers were running all around. Just as the bus started moving again, I noticed a few soldiers checking the vehicles behind us. Oh God! This is absolutely the wrong place to be caught.

Just as I was about to panic, the great sage Yavanshi came up with an idea. There was a dark alley that seemed to lead to a parallel road just a few feet in the front. As the bus rumbled a bit closer, I put on a dazzling smile and said that I got to go back as i had forgotten something. No one seemed to mind, so I hopped off and dashed into the alley.

For a minute I though I was being chased but then realized that though a lot of people were fretting, fuming and generally running in all directions, no one was following me. There are began the treacherous journey to my drop point. It was pitch black, there were a lot of land mines and I had to move at snails pace using my flash light. Once I crossed the alley the road was well lit but crowded. I pushed my way through the crowd and finally reached the railway station where my train home was already huffing and puffing. I ran as fast as I can and got one foot into the train before it pulled away angrily.

If not for such a wild imagination, I would have also fretted and fumed after getting stuck in the traffic for 2 hours. I walked to the station after abandoning the bus I was travelling in and this was the story that gave me the strength to walk four kilometers to the station.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Can someone invent these?


My current anime obsession is 'Getbackers'. One of those shows where you have very humane super humans. Its about a couple of guys who start a retrieval agency and all their friends and foes. As I watched the show I realized that it would really be fun and profitable (not to mention the service to mankind blah blah blah!) to actually mimic some of their powers in the real world. For example, Ginji's power to generate electricity. Of course we cannot generate electricity buy a shock producing glove that can be turned on at when needed should be great to fend of men and women who lean too closely to us with harmful intent. Dr. jackal's bloody sword could be a dangerous thing but his pesky little knives can keep muggers at bay. Himiko's monkey poison will come in handy when the neighborhood not-so-friendly thieves decide to pay a visit. And it would really be fun to use Ban's evil eye on nasty auto drivers who think people equal to bags of money that can be tossed around during the ride and fleeced after that.


In-fact we can create Ginji shields that provide an electromagnetic shield around our vehicles that will slow down other vehicles that speed in within a few feet. Imagine the number of accidents that can be averted (well, at least I think so).


hum, if only I was good in physics, I would at least know if these ideas were hare brained. Unfortunately, even today, I find it difficult to believe that I actually passed that subject in high school.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Mishaps and apologies

It was one of those moments I really wondered if that person sitting in a cloud upstairs and supposed to be watching over us is actually a sadist. In that crowded bus already half way through to my destination, I though that if there is a God he is a real mean sadist. That Saturday was special. It was the day I had decided to treat a dear friend of mine to a luxuriant lunch and a great day roaming around town. We had planned on a movie but we didn't get tickets for three weeks. So we gave up on that and decided to go on a pilgrimage to our favourite temple, the Landmark bookshop. I planned everything carefully down to the last minute and everything was going as planned until she called up and said that for some urgent reason she has to work.

She was kind enough to let me visit her anyway. She is one of those friends i never feel like screaming at (and I should say I am good enough to be a professional screamer), though I am sure if any other friend of mine had tried this, I would have visited them after buying a pick axe. I cursed all the way for half an hour until she called and said that we can go for an early lunch once I get there. I was still irritated that all my plans were foiled and even contemplated forgetting the whole episode and going back home. But I had gone too far for that, so I just went ahead.

Even as I stood at her door wondering if the flowers I brought where right and the chocolates have melted in the humid Chennai heat; when she opened the door, I forgot everything. There on I didn't worry about what i was doing. We just laughed and talked. We walked to a restaurant nearby which was not even pretending to be as good as the one I had planned on, then we went on for ice creams (my favourite part). I even made her eat a blue and pink ice cream which she wouldn't have dreamt of trying on her own. One thing we didn't have was time. So we said good bye in a hurry and I set on my long journey back home inside a sweltering bus crowded as usual.
Curiously though, I remembered how irritated I was in the morning and then realized I was actually feeling happy now. Hum, at least the whole mess of my plans wasn't that bad. Later my friend told me that she had a really nice time that day, and I knew she meant it. I have forgotten all the fun we didn't have that day, but I remember the fun we did have. A couple of days later when I was narrating the event to a friend, she asked, "didn't she even apologies?" For a minute there I was startled. She didn't and I didn't even notice, in fact I would have squirmed if she had. To be frank, I realized that neither of us actually apologies to each other and that's one of the reasons why I feel comfortable about our friendship. Who wants apologies when neither of us care about such things?

The mess after all wasn't a mess at all coz the most important things where in place. Sort of like how you can still recognize a kids scribbling as a human figure just by the sticks and the circles.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Whoring all our lives

Scandalized? Yes, we should be.

Some thoughts just sneak in on you so slow that you don't even realize that they are there until they hold you by the neck and throttle you. What I am writing now is one such. I was just thinking why people go to prostitutes. As far as I can see, its for sex. But why pay money and go to all the trouble for something that doesn't need someone else? Maybe because its nice to do it with someone else. Why is it nice that way? Maybe because it mimics something that goes way beyond sex, a false sense of love. But if that's the reason then why aren't there mother's for hire for a night who will serve you dinner and pet your hair. That will also give a false sense of affection right? Why not dad's for a Sunday, who will take you to movies and talk like a real father. Why not brothers, sisters or friends for hire?

I realized these relationships are also sold on the streets and sometimes inherited; its just that we don't call them prostitution. We call them duty, responsibility, commitment, comfort, security, and many more. Worst of all, we call it marriage. While whores get paid in money the rest of us get paid in kind or/and money.

I know, the first thing you are saying now is its not true. Yes, its not always true. But most of the time yes. Ask some of these questions to yourself and you will know.

Why do you marry?
Coz I need company, free sex, children, house maid, money machine, home, cook, bodyguard etc etc etc

Why do you care for your children?
Coz they are mine (u hear it surprisingly often), legacy, responsibility, future insurance etc etc etc

Why do you have friends?
Coz they will help in need, they have fun with me, they are there for me etc etc etc

In other words for something or the other.

I am sure you will be shocked why the word love isn't in these lists. I haven't said that word yet coz it is the only thing that differentiates prostitution and honest-to-yourself relationship.

Love that you just give for the joy of it. Not because you will get something out of it. Its just a honest feeling like genuine anger or sorrow. Oh forget the mush, its just a nice feeling that lasts while it lasts. Just like how anger dissolves in time, so can love. It doesn't become prostitution until the relationship lasts even after love dissolved.

By the way, I never said prostitution is wrong.