Women of the virgin territory

Someone thought its a good idea to advocate the advantages of hugging; and what we have is a newspaper article that spouts a lot of theories and practices on the science of hugging. Considering the fact that its written for an Indian audience, it had a lot of practical tips towards the etiquette for hugging. As I read the article, a very amusing revelation came to me. I haven't hugged anyone for the past ten years, and I am stopping at ten coz I can't be sure about the time before that.

Why?

Coz its not part of the culture I grew up in. Yes, I believe that even our traditional form of greeting is a chaste namaste. Especially, if you are of the female species, people are reluctant to touch you. Even fathers, mothers and brothers keep off girls once girls step into their teens. Now does that mean I am deprived, well no; I can't miss what i don't know. No wonder, girls of this nation develop a highly sensitive sense of personal space. Try standing next to a woman in a crowded bus, I bet most men can sense that barrier that says, 'cross at your own peril.'

Its just a small thing yet the result of a cascading effect of the bigger picture that defines the status of women in India. And that status dictates that unmarried woman should be untouched virgins. (By the way, whats the link between touching and virginity?) Just watch a mega serial (that almost the entire nation watches) to know how important it is. That's why India is one of those corners of the world where you can hunt for virgins in their twenties and maybe even older. Whats with the virginity stuff? Why aren't men expected to be virgins? Was this a bright idea of someone to control the great Indian population burst?

Some of the undesirable side effects of this obsession with virginity is the social stigma that is pinned onto women who aren't virgins and still unmarried. Take for example the way rape victims are treated. The fact that there are very few rape victims who actually talk about it is a cold reminder of the fear of stigma; the automatic statements that twist the woman's character so much so that she is assumed to be responsible for what happened to her. By the way, have you ever realized that married bharathiya bahu's with children but very limited brain development barely enough to support family, fight with in laws and gossip about neighbors seem to be respected more than women who are professionally successful and generally more productive to society?

But then what can be expected of a nation which treats woman as men's property. Where even a woman's identity has to be substantiated with the father's or the husband's name. It's such a bad bargain. But it does have its advantages if you want a passive simplistic life (meaning just eating, sleeping, sex and looking pretty).

I don't care much for it coz, I know I will die within the first twenty four hours of such a life, and of course I ain't pretty. But I do have my radar and I can bet that no one matches the abilities of a hyper active inbuilt radar system to leering men like that of an Indian woman's.

To my right - survey

Hey guys, I am taking a survey. Its very simple. Just answer the question below as a comment.

What do you think is right and wrong?

Bride and prejudice

Bride seeing ceremonies have a very distinct effect on me - a mixture of disgust, despair, annoyance and a little bit of hope. Curiously though, that negligible amount of hope seems to sway my entire reasoning towards submission. And after going through the routine, I have become used to it, even though I still get the urge to do something nasty to the unsuspecting groom's party. Even though I protest rather loudly, I am no more rebellious about this subject as I was before; especially when I am painfully aware that I myself have failed in this department rather miserably.

Finally, after spending five hundred buck on a shrink who said, I need to find a right guy for myself (duh! as if I don't know.) I decided that some soul searching is needed in this department. So, I sat down and really thought; not my usual flashes of genius type but by aid of a series of questions raised by the great sage, Yavanshi.

Q: What am I looking for?
A: Someone who would see me as an individual and not as a mass product of society (well, no one seems to want custom made stuff anymore. Made in India's simmering cauldron of social zombism is the preferred brand for brides, and needless to say, I don't fit the bill.)

Q: Why would I marry?
A:Obviously for love (what? did I say something funny.)

Q: Do I really need to marry?
A: If I will be better of married that single then yes, otherwise no. And that's solely dependent on my tolerance level to the unlucky chap, if ever there is one. And that in turn is dependent on how much I can love him.

Q: Whom would I love?
A: Hum, a guy I can respect. Someone who would love me enough to be there as the warm home I can get back to after wandering the worlds. Someone who will not only patch me up but also accept me patching him up when the need arises. (Someone tell me if I just eliminated the entire male population of the earth.) Oh yeah, and someone who is like minded enough to toss ideas like adoption and some noodles when I am tired. (Now that completes the elimination I suppose.)

Q: What can I give?
A: Love and understanding (like why men prefer football games to their wives), leeway (like he can have lunch,only, with a female friend but better be home for dinner), consideration (spare him the girl shopping) and freedom of thought (he can think and say that my violin playing skill are scientifically subzero and I won't cry, though i might still keep at it even harder.)

Q: Do I want to get married?
A: To the right guy yes. To the wrong one, I would rather run all the way to the north pole.

Q: Have I looked for Mr right?
A: Well, don't know how do that. At least I haven't asked men if they are married or otherwise within the first five minutes of knowing them.

Yavanshi, the great sage thought for a while and then finally gave her verdict.

"You are looking for a highly endangered species. Even if you find one, it will be a crime to waste him on you. But if by chance you do get Mr right, then that goes down in history as a miracle."

Why do we always hope for miracles? Even when we know it doesn't happen often these days. Same reason why we buy pop corn at the theater knowing very well it will cost ten times that of its actual price; coz its a luxury to hope.

Moms and daughters

Kanathil muthamital.
I had no idea what drove me to watch that movie and whats so special about that movie apart from Manirathnam's great direction, until a friend of mine tried to explain. She said that the movie touches a cord in everyone as they can relate to the anguish of a child who realizes that the woman she assumes as her mother is not hers and the hunger there after to know her real mother. Try as I might, I still cannot understand it at all.

Every time, I see a mother and a daughter, I wonder whats so special about this relationship that makes two women not only get along but actually love each other for a life time. Given the fact that I have the least experience on the subject, it still remains an enigma to me. For someone who lost her biological mother when young and then having to accept someone else in her mothers place, I would say that there are some unique points that you may not be aware of. Hence, I would say you can refrain from judgement.

Call it cruel, heartless, sick, demented or anything else, but I stubbornly refused to cry when my biological mother died. No one including me understood why (though a lot chose to talk about it behind my back.) I just didn't cry. All the while my brother was kicking and screaming for her, I just laid my head on my grandam's lap and watched her cry. After all these years, though I am not sure why I didn't grieve, I think I have a logical reason. Maybe because I wasn't sure about the relationship I shared with my mother. She was there but I guess I was raised more by my grandparents than my own parents. No regrets there though.

Surprisingly though, it took me even longer than my brother to accept a brand new mom. It took me over 15 years of fighting and compromising to get to the point where we can actually sit and talk and laugh together. I can now safely say that in our own way, we love each other. Boy relationships are so hard to build.

Now, every time I see a mother and a daughter duo I don't bother to wonder what it would be like. Instead I smile knowing that they will wonder the same way when they see me and my mom.

Let there be copy paste

God and the Devil were playing a game of cards. As usual God was winning and Devil decided that the game was rotten. So he suggested an alternative.

"You know that game we used to play long time ago" Devil said in his silky voice that had deceived so many before.

"Yeah" God said noncommitally. He remembered the game very well. The last time they played that game, they had a cloned sheep on their hands and it had taken all of His skills to make it stop at that.

But Devil was so bored, he wanted to be entertained and what better way than playing with humans. So, he went on "lets play that game again. I am bored."

"Restless as ever, if I had your energy, the world would be a better place." God sighed.

"yeah yeah, whatever. You are lazy but good and I am active but bad. Now shall we play or what."

God thought hard, to be frank, even he was bored. So he nodded and said, "so whats the arguement this time."

Devil can be super sharp when he is excited, so he promptly said, "I say your humans are the least creative of the lot. Given a chance they would xerox you and me and themselves."

"And I should say they are more creative than you give them credit for."

Devil rubbed his hands in glee and said, "we each get one chance to amend and thats all. Now let the game begin."

God stood up from his throne and for a moment thoght, then he said, "ah, well, at least its not as bad as cloning." He then raised his staff and lowered it with might as he said, "let there be copy paste."

a year later...
Sure as the Devil suggested, there were xerox machine everywhere. People copy pasted everything from books to quotes. People fought and complained about the rightful owner of material and the world was heading towards chaos.

One particular individual was having a nice time though. "You know, I am having a great time, seems like the whole world is copy pasting now. What are you going to do." Devil was leering at God unconciosuly.

"You will see. And stop leering at me. I know I am handsome, but I am not your type."

"I know, you are such a bore. But a little leering keeps boredom away."

The next day, the first copywright laws were passed and copy pasting became a crime, if done without consent of the owner.

Upstairs Devil said, "as if thats going to stop them."

But it did stop them for a while. The xerox machines were there but people took the effort to think and write for themselves. This annoyed the hell out of the devil. So what he did was appear in the dream of a corporate manager and wispered copy paste into his ears. This guy was already having trouble deciding whose work was good and whose was bad. The devils idea came at the perfect time.

He went to his office the next day and asked all his employees to line up. He chose the guys whom he thought had written the best proposals and software programs and asked his other employees to copy paste these best guys' works. Thus copy paste became the new mantra of corporate world.

Soon, everything from cola add scripts to books to software were copy pasted. Corporates fround that they made more money simply by copy pasting than actually writing their own scripts.

God was sitting bent with his hands supporting his chin, the devil was dancing around him singing
"God has a problem, yo ho ho and a funny day for him.
God made copy paste and yo ho ho he has a problem."

God look on with disgust and said, "awh please cut it out. You look stupid dancing like that."

Devil didnt care, he was happy, "Admit defeat Mr.God. Your men are no more creative."

God sighed and said, "ah well, who cares, even I am bored or taking care of those damn fools. I will let them be. They better find a way out soon."