I am just an ordinary man

Its been hectic the past few months and at the end of it, I had to sit down and take stock of my life here and now. I mean, its all nice and haughty when the adrenalin flows and I move from one project to the other conquering them all, but finally when the battle pauses, comes the moment of truth when I have to sit back and decide if it was all worth it.

Work has been gratifying at a personal level and I havent ventured beyond that as of now.
But on a personal level, I had to rethink my ideas about marriage and that led to a massive failure. Yes, paying up thousands and registering in matrimonial sites does give you that confidence that you do have potential but that doesnt last long. I wouldnt regret it though, given that its the best sampling of 'ordinary humans' you can ever get.

Sex freaks to wimpering cowards to men who actually know what they want and are nice enough to say so are all there, and I bet I could have never had the chance to meet them all if not for these sites (yes, that also includes the category that I never ever want to meet again). But one thing thats common to them all is the last line they ever tell me, "I am just an ordinary man". (Sorry, I am gender biased here, but thats because, I happened to meet only men in these sites)

How I wish there is a ban on those words, it should be awarded the worst curse on humanity award. This is an amazing statement that can smother and kill every question that one can ask about life, moral and choice. In fact, its the atom bomb on human moral.

Every bribing, lying, stealing, cheating, backboneless, guilt ridden humble citizen of society wears this statement as a cloak, designed uniformly with the same prejudices, wrapped around himself to hide in a forest of such people. This is better than Harry Potters invisibility cloak because, most people have one. And if you dont own one, you are mercilessly poked and prodded on all sides, gapped at, and frowned upon like a monkey doing sea surfing. Not surprisingly though, the first response, I would get after you have read so far is most probably, "What bitterness?" "How pathetic?" or "Get a life!" Strange that if a rat says that cheese is better than garbage to to a bunch of rats living in the sewer, he will be viewed with pity. Bitterness, joy, disappointment are well worth their time, if I can escape the dreaded cloak.

That nasty little sentence is the absolution that removes any genuine guilt you might feel about the social wrongs you see and effectively pushes you back into the safe zone and comfort that comes with mass misconceptions. It effectively throws anyone who begs to differ out of the planet.

I know it is unfair to say that anyone who says these words are all worthy of the terms I have used above, but this blog is not about fairness, its just about my perception and until I find an 'ordinary human' who thinks for himself/herself and stands by his/her own decisions even if it is against the social norms, I will change my mind.